The “Gbalanced Diet” Pandemic Among Students in Nigeria’s Fess and Bess

 Growing up, we memorised the meaning of a balanced diet. We even had carbohydrates, proteins, vitamins, and minerals, all marching neatly in our notebooks, each with its role in building a healthy body. We recited their importance with confidence, as if we would one day faithfully apply them. 

However, university life has a way of rewriting that knowledge. Somewhere between tight budgets, long lectures, and the daily struggle to “manage”, those carefully learnt food classes disappear, replaced by a more practical curriculum: what is available, what is affordable, and what can last till the end of the week. Somewhere between ambition and account balance, students in Nigeria’s “fess and Bess” university have quietly invented a new food group: survival.

It is called the gbalanced diet, a carefully unbalanced rotation of meals that somehow convinces its followers they are doing just fine. After all, is it not rice? And is rice not food? Case closed.

In this system, variety is a myth, and nutrition is more of a suggestion than a requirement.

Take a walk into any hostel and you will meet the regulars.

Rice and stew is the dependable friend. Always available, always ready, never asking questions. It shows up morning, afternoon, and night, wearing the same red outfit like it owns the place. At this point, even it is tired. If rice and stew could talk, it would probably ask, “Are we not both tired of each other?”

Then there is oil rice: the dramatic cousin. Shiny and proud of its excess oil content and ceremonial sprinkles of fish. It enters the scene like a celebrity, but deep down, it knows it is doing too much. Still, students welcome it with open plates because, well, it feels like a change. A dangerous illusion, but a change nonetheless.

Rice and spaghetti, affectionately known as “rice and spagh” is the confused one. It never quite figured out its identity. Is it rice? Is it pasta? Nobody knows. But there it is, sitting on the same plate, hoping nobody asks questions.

And of course, we must acknowledge the silent backbone of this diet: eja yiyan, the ever-faithful smoked panla fish.

Your go-to smoked fish sees you coming and shakes her head at your consistency. “Again?” she sighs, as she is yet scattered into unrecognisable minute pieces and placed beside yet another mountain of rice. She has been here too many times. She knows your struggles, your budget, your excuses. At this point, she deserves a student ID card.

Egg appears occasionally, like a special guest star. When it shows up, it is treated with the kind of respect reserved for visiting dignitaries. “Ah! Egg today?” your roommates exclaim, as if you just secured a scholarship.

Meat and chicken, however, has become a legend.

Stories of its existence are passed down like folklore. “I ate meat last week,” someone whispers, and the room falls silent. Nobody asks for proof. In the world of the gbalanced diet, such claims are accepted on faith alone.

But beneath the humour lies a quiet concern.

This is not just about food. It is about survival in a system where students are expected to perform at their best while feeding on the bare minimum. The “first and best” label begins to sound ironic when the average student’s diet could best be described as repetitive resilience. The gbalanced diet is not a choice, it is a strategy for survival.

A strategy to stretch money.

A strategy to stay afloat.

A strategy to keep going, even when the odds and the menu are against you.

Still, one cannot help but wonder: how long can students continue to thrive on meals that merely fill the stomach but do little else? Perhaps it is time to rethink what “best” truly means. Because a system that produces brilliant minds should not depend on diets that barely sustain them.

Until then, rice and stew will remain on duty, oil rice will keep shining, rice and spagh will continue its identity crisis, and smoked fish, faithful as ever, will keep shaking her head at you.

After all, consistency is key. Even if it is consistently unbalanced.